Started out with None at All,
got Some when Began to Crawl.
Next I got those Big Boy Duds,
played in Dirt with all my Buds.
Awakening discovered Chicks,
cooler Pants then in the Mix.
Levi Jeans and Leather Jacket,
I aged Up to the next Bracket.
College years Was a new Dawn,
didn’t Care what I put On.
The Pair to Wear – The one I Chose,
the Pants on Top of Dirty Clothes.
Business World and to Impress,
I was Dressing for Success.
Stayed that Way and then Retired,
now Wear Pants I once Desired.
Age kept Creeping up on Me,
Pant size Grew and Not for Free.
Though will Scrap and Disavow,
the Reasons for my Pant Size Now.
Used to Put my Pants on Fast,
now that Fact my Distant Past.
Still can Stand – One leg goes In,
I must Hold Props to my Chagrin.
Coming soon I’ll have to Sit,
to Slip them On yet Still with Grit.
Enjoy my Age and Ample Gut,
and Try not Falling on my Butt.
If there Ever comes a Day,
can’t Don the Pants in my Own Way,
I’ll change Attire without Gilt,
and Proudly wear a Stylish Kilt.